apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the liver wants what the liver wants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
