What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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