Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
