just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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