i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
