careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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