Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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