First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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