What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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