She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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