I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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