hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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