Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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