I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
