Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
