fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
