she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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