is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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