When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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