I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
