A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
