I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
