What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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