I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
