"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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