She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
