Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
