I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
