New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
