A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
