Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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