hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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