im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
