Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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