Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
