no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
