I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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