he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
