She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
