We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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