Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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