i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
