Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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