Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize