At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
