hell yes lets make some ravioli
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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