somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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