I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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