I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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