Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
