drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
