just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
