are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
