I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize