Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
