And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
