i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
