your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
