I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
