i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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