Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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