Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
