I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
