maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
