He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
