i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
