Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
