He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
