I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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