like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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