I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize