he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
