is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
