i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
