Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i have two assholes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
