So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I need a beard to bite.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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