What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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