he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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